What to Do with That Weird Thing in the Back of Your Fridge

We’ve all got one. Tucked behind the salad dressing and next to the nearly-empty jar of pickles, it lurks. It’s a mystery wrapped in foil, a container of what was once a vibrant leftover, now a questionable life form. It’s the weird thing in the back of your fridge, and it’s time to confront it.

The fridge is a place of culinary promise, but its back corners are where good intentions go to die. So, how do you handle these unknown artifacts of a forgotten meal? Here’s a step-by-step guide to dealing with that weird thing in your fridge.

Step 1: The Initial Investigation

Before you do anything, you need to assess the situation. Approach the item with caution. Is it in a clear container? Can you see what’s inside? Or is it a nondescript container that has been sealed shut for so long it might as well be a time capsule?

• If it’s in a clear container: This is a low-level threat. You can easily identify what you’re dealing with. The question is not “what is it?” but “is it still good?”
• If it’s wrapped in foil or plastic: This is a mid-level threat. The mystery is what gives it power. You’ll need to peel back a corner to see what you’re up against. Be prepared for a potential odor.
• If it’s in a Tupperware container that has been glued shut by its contents: This is a high-level threat. It’s an unknown, a box of Schrödinger’s leftovers. Proceed with extreme caution.

Step 2: The Smell Test (Proceed with Caution)

This is a crucial, but risky, step. If the container is open or can be opened safely, give it a quick sniff. A good smell test is a quick whiff, not a deep inhalation. Your nose is your first line of defense.

• Fresh and familiar: Congratulations! You’ve found a forgotten treasure.
• Slightly off: This is a gray area. You’ll have to rely on your gut feeling and a bit of bravery.
• Unidentifiable and vaguely sour: Abort mission! This is a biohazard.

Step 3: The Disposal

If your investigation and smell test confirm that the item has crossed the threshold from “food” to “science experiment,” it’s time for disposal.

• The Quick Toss: For minor offenses (like a half-empty jar of something you’ll never use), a quick trip to the trash can is all that’s needed.
• The Container Sacrifice: Sometimes, the contents are so foul that the container itself is lost. It’s a sad but necessary sacrifice. Throw the whole thing away and mourn your lost Tupperware.
• The Biohazard Protocol: For truly terrifying discoveries, take the container directly from the fridge to the outdoor trash can. Do not open it. Do not let it linger in your kitchen. Your future self will thank you.

Step 4: The Prevention

Now that the threat has been neutralized, it’s time to prevent it from happening again.

• Label and Date: This is the golden rule of fridge organization. A piece of tape and a marker can save you from a lot of future guesswork.
• “Eat Me First” Section: Dedicate a shelf or a part of a shelf for leftovers and foods that need to be eaten soon. This simple trick can work wonders.
• Embrace the Leftover: Make a commitment to eating your leftovers within a reasonable timeframe. Turn that leftover chicken into a sandwich or the sad vegetables into a soup.

The weird thing in the back of your fridge is more than just forgotten food; it’s a monument to our busy lives and our best culinary intentions. So the next time you spot one, you’ll be ready. You’ll approach it with confidence, a plan, and maybe a pair of gloves.